From my inbox

"Can u be a male and still be a feminist?"

 Seriously though, dude.  Check the feminist 101 links.  I don't even know where to begin...

Can't Blog. Knitting

There is a baby in the family due that is in dire need of a blanket knit by me, and as always, I am waaaaaaay behind in my knitting, so I will be MIA for a while.  Sorry about that.  Please enjoy this screencap as my humble apology.

Me, circa 1991

Today in Trans Hatred (or how I learned to stop worrying and love trashy TV)

Full disclosure time, loves:  I enjoy me some trashy television.  I will owe up to watching two full seasons of Ancient Aliens.  I know, I know.  Bad feminist, no cookie.  To be fair, I spent the entire time bad-mouthing the obvious racist and sexist undertones in said show.  That being stated, I have no hatred for people who watch these shows.  Just as our bodies sometimes need ice cream so too do our minds occasionally need a break.  I mean, it can’t all be the news and PBS.  So when I heard that Chaz Bono was going to be on the new season of Dancing With the Stars my first thought was: “Huh.  I didn’t know that show was still on.  Maybe I’ll check it out.”

But like all things good and true, the ignorant rabble had to take a piss on it. They are outraged; mostly in the name of Jesus. Keep in mind these are the same people who couldn’t have been bothered less by Kendra Wilkinson, Playboy Bunny in previous seasons (not that there is anything wrong with posing naked.  There are problems with the Playboy brand, but that’s another post).

If you dare, you could take a gander at the comments on the ABC.com message board.  I wouldn’t recommend it.  They range from “Who will think of the children!!???” to “Watch me quote Bible verses out of context because I am so stupid I think we live in a theocracy free of Constitutional rights!” (May not be an actual quote)

At first I was like:

Then I saw this video, and it took the bite out of the hate a bit.  World, meet Jackie:

 

If you can, why not make a donation in Jackie’s name to the National Center for Transgender Equality?

How I felt today on Facebook.

I need a vacation from the patriarchy.

Wow...

If we live in a world where Faith Hill isn't pretty enough, what chance do I have?

Stop the Patriarchy, I want to get off!!!!

Trigger warning: rape
This is our rape culture at work.

And because some fucknecks (may they step on a Lego)  at Jezebel seem to think that either Jezebel made up the story or the girl made up the story, here are some more links from more "reputable" sources:

Here  and  here

If you can't see the links, I'll sum it up for you as quickly and painlessly as I can.  A teenage girl with mental disabilities was raped by her classmate.  She reported the rape to the school authorities.  Not only did they refuse to believe her, they forced her to recant her statement and write a letter of apology to her rapist. She was forced to deliver that letter in person to her rapist.  She was reported as filing a false report and expelled for the remainder of the school year.  Fast forward about a half a year and the same boy rapes her again!  A DNA match confirms her story, but the same asshat school officials now claim she didn't "use reasonable means to protect herself"

Good and pissed?  I know I am!  Now, what to do with all that spare rage?  How about using the school board's phone number to vent your spleen?  I would. The number for the school board is:  417-732-3605  Unleash hell, my sisters.

Guest Post: Choosing Childlessness

 

Hey all.  Today I'm posting the first of what I hope will be several guest posts.  This post was written by my darling friend Vickie, who I asked to write about her feelings as a woman who has willingly chosen to be  child-free in a culture that often forces motherhood on women.  I hope you all enjoy it.

Choosing Childlessness- a post by…uh…me.

When Heather originally asked me to do this I was horribly scared as far as what would come from it. Would people hate me? Tell me I was crazy and that I would eventually change my mind? Applaud but secretly hate me? I won’t know until after this is posted. I’m still terrified of what people will think. Being a writer who has not done much in her year since graduation had me changing my mind. ‘Yes! I’ll do it! Anything to write again!’

So, here I am.

Since I was 13 I knew kids would not be in my future. As much due to my OCD as my awkwardness around them. The only thing that has changed since then is (along with finding the love of my life and wonderful best friend) that these feelings about not wanting children have gotten stronger. Yes, not a typo, stronger. I do not want children. Why is that so difficult for me to say and even more difficult for others to believe? Because I’m a 23 year old woman engaged to the love of her life and ready to settle down, start a family and – no. That’s what they WANT for me. I want to get married to this devilishly handsome man and travel, see the world. I was even nervous buying a cat because it’s a 15-20 year commitment. Cats, however, shit in a box, can portion out their food and, generally, take care of themselves. (Especially mine who hates people and will avoid them at all costs.) If only children were this easy and inexpensive!

The average cost of having a child for the first year of its life is staggering. Thousands spent on diapers, wipes, powders, and various foods for their sensitive tummies. And for what? For all of it to get eaten, pooped, thrown back up or thrown away. What kind of investment is that? Something that’s going to poop and barf all over the expensive (ok, thrift store) furniture and ruin it?

Here’s something I hear ALL the time and it’s getting really annoying: “Oh, you’ll change your mind. Your friends will have kids and you’ll realize you want them.” NO. My friends already have these delightful bags of poop and fluids. I’ve seen them. I’ve held them when they shoved their ENTIRE fist in their mouth only to take it out (covered in slime) and touch it to my face and laugh maniacally the whole time. (Ok giggle, but to me, it’s an EVIL laugh.)

How about this one: “There’s nothing like the way a baby smells!” Sure there is. A wet dog that has been rolling around in road kill and his own shit for the last hour who then proceeds to lick his balls and the come in and pant in your face. Dirty diapers smell something like that. Horrid.
Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s wonderful that someone can be so dedicated to a tiny little life to go through the stenches, the stains, the fluids and loads of laundry only to get them to that lovely stage before being a teenager (where they hate you to their core), only to graduate and leave you. You spend all that money, hard work teaching them to not shit on the floor or in their pants and how do they repay you? By hating you and leaving. Yeah, I want that.

I’m trying to be as honest as I can here. I think it’s totally awesome when someone can know that they want that responsibility and that emotion. That’s so freaking awesome. It’s just something that’s not for me. I’d rather spend my emotions and my hard work helping the people in this world who need it rather than creating another one who will need counseling later because he/she has mommy issues. I’ve helped countless people through their own bad times in life. (Break ups, suicides and attempts,) why should I take away from them to put effort into something/someone I don’t want? Who would suffer because of this? I dedicate a lot of time and love to my friends. That is where my true passion lies, a child would suddenly stop all that and I would no longer have the time to care for those around me who need it. A baby would tie me down, tether me to a world I don’t want to be in and force me to live a life I don’t want. If anyone in YOUR life said you had to be a plumber, whether you wanted to or not, and you got stuck there, wouldn’t you be upset? Or if they walked up to you and said, “Oh, you don’t want to be a plumber? You’ll change your mind one day.” It’s a career choice. (Since most stay-at-home moms work the equivalent of 2 full time jobs) And this particular career just isn’t for me.

I’m sorry if I’ve bored you, or if I’ve offended you. It was not my intent to offend. If you are anyway, go hug your kids and love them, don’t waste time on hating me when your children need love more than they need your anger at a stupid blog post.

I sincerely hope you all have a lovely day, and thank you for reading.

~Victoria Jensen~